PillowFacts / Problems

The pillow is never the only thing in the bed

Every situation below puts something rigid between a head and a surface. The pillow question is the same each time — how much room is there, and can the surface give it up — even though the objects could not be more different.

Something in my ear, and I sleep on my side

Earbuds, healing piercings, hearing aids and earplugs each ask something different of a pillow.

I sleep with earbuds or AirPods inAn earbud adds a hard, protruding point to the smallest contact patch on your body. It does not create ear pain; it ex…I have a healing cartilage piercingThe requirement here is usually total contact removal rather than better pressure distribution, because the sore point…I have been told I have chondrodermatitis (CNH)The same contact-removal geometry as a healing piercing.…I sleep in hearing aidsSame as earbuds — a rigid object that will not compress, on the contact patch. Devices vary widely in how far they pro…I sleep in foam earplugsThe mildest case in this cluster, because foam compresses. When it still hurts, the pillow has usually bottomed out an…

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Something strapped to my face, and I sleep on my side

A mask, its frame and its hose are rigid objects at the contact patch. The pillow question is geometry; the therapy question is not.

I side-sleep in a CPAP maskA mask frame sits proud of the face and does not compress. On a surface that has already bottomed out, the frame is le…I use a nasal-pillow or nasal-cradle maskA smaller frame than a full-face mask, so it needs less clearance — but it sits directly under the nose, where a pillo…

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My shoulders and my pillow disagree

The measurement is unusual, or it changed, and every pillow on the shelf is built for an average nobody actually is.

I have broad shoulders and every pillow is too flatThe gap your pillow has to fill is set by your shoulder. A broader shoulder means a bigger gap, and the retail market …Every pillow props my head up too highThe mirror of the broad-shoulder case. A narrower shoulder, or a soft mattress that lets the shoulder drop a long way,…I changed mattress and my pillow stopped workingRequired loft is your neck-to-shoulder distance minus how far the mattress lets your shoulder sink — so it is a proper…

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I do not sleep the way pillows assume

Pillows are designed for one position held all night. Most people do not do that.

I start on my side and end up on my backThe two positions want different lofts. Side sleeping has to fill a shoulder-width gap; back sleeping has to fill only…I sleep on my stomachFace down, there is almost no gap to fill — the head is already close to the mattress. Loft that helps a side sleeper …I sleep with my arm under the pillowTucking an arm under adds its thickness to the loft, so the effective height is your pillow plus your arm. People who …

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I wake up sore

Where a loft mismatch shows up in the morning, and the firm line between that and anything medical.

I wake up with a sore neckA loft mismatch holds the neck out of line with the spine for hours at a time — bent down toward the mattress if the p…My bottom shoulder aches from side sleepingAn under-lofted pillow lets the head drop toward the mattress, which loads more of the upper body's weight through the…

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Something changed, and the pillow that used to work stopped

Your pillow did not change. The gap it has to fill did. These are the everyday things that move your shoulder, your head or the mattress underneath them — and none of them come with a warning that your pillow is now the wrong height.

I started using a weighted blanket and my neck hurtsA weighted blanket presses your shoulder further into the mattress than your body weight alone does. Required loft is …I got an adjustable bed and my pillow is wrong nowRaising the head section stops the mattress being a flat plane. Your torso is now on an incline while your head sits a…I have very thick hair, or I sleep with it upHair sits between your head and the pillow, so it adds to the pillow's height without adding any support. A dense brai…The cat sleeps against my back and I have stopped moving at nightAn animal pinning one side of you does not change your measurement — it removes your ability to turn over. A pillow th…I am sleeping in a recliner or on a sofaA recliner supports your back and leaves your head to a headrest that was designed for sitting upright and watching so…I go to bed with wet hairTwo things change. Wet hair packs down far flatter than dry, so the small height it was adding disappears — the pillow…I flip the pillow all night looking for the cool sideFlipping is a height problem disguised as a heat problem. Memory foam softens as it warms, so a foam pillow that was t…My child has outgrown their toddler pillowThe arithmetic is the same at any size: required loft is neck-to-shoulder minus mattress sink. Children simply have sm…

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Someone told you to sleep differently, and nobody mentioned the pillow

A surgeon, a midwife, a dentist or a lash technician tells you to change position. The instruction is about you. Nobody's instruction is ever about the pillow — and changing position changes the one distance a pillow exists to fill, often by two inches or more.

I have been told to sleep on my backOn your side, the pillow fills the gap your SHOULDER creates. On your back, the shoulder is out of the equation entire…I have been told to sleep on my sideThe reverse of the same arithmetic, and the more uncomfortable direction. Your shoulder now has to be accommodated, so…I have been told to sleep propped upElevation is meant to raise your whole upper body. Stacked bed pillows raise your HEAD instead, folding your neck forw…My lash technician told me to stop sleeping on my faceThe advice everyone gives is correct and incomplete: sleep on your back, use a smooth pillowcase. What none of it ment…I am pregnant and have been told to sleep on my sideMost pregnancy pillow advice is about supporting the bump, the knees and the back — a body pillow does that, and does …My arm is in a sling and I cannot get comfortableA sling does two things to the arithmetic at once. It stops you turning over, so whichever side you are on is the side…I sleep in a cervical collar and cannot turn my headA collar holds your head at a fixed angle to your shoulders and removes the adjustment your neck normally makes all ni…

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I am not in my own bed

Every number on this site assumes your mattress and your pillow. Away from both, the arithmetic still holds — but you have lost the ability to control either side of it, and the strategies that work are different ones.

Hotel pillows wreck my neckHotels buy soft, over-filled pillows because they photograph well and suit the widest range of guests without complain…I cannot sleep sitting up on a planeUpright, there is no gap between your head and a mattress to fill, because there is no mattress. The job changes compl…My partner and I need completely different pillowsRequired loft comes from shoulder width, so two people of different builds genuinely need different heights — often tw…

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Something is strapped to, worn on, or resting against my head

The ear-pressure cluster covers things inside the ear. These are the things around it — over-ear headphones, a sleep mask, a retainer, glasses you fell asleep in. Each adds a hard edge to a surface that has to give way somewhere.

I sleep in over-ear headphones or a headbandAn earbud is a small hard point inside the ear. An over-ear cup is a rigid ring AROUND it, several times wider, and it…My sleep mask leaves marks or shifts all nightA mask is soft over the eyes and rigid where the strap crosses the side of the head — which is exactly the part that m…I wear a retainer or night guard and wake with jaw acheA guard sets your jaw slightly open and stops it settling. Side sleeping then pushes the lower jaw sideways against th…I keep falling asleep in my glassesA spectacle arm is a thin rigid bar running along the exact line where your head meets the pillow, ending in a hook ov…

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The thing you do every night is telling you what is wrong

Nobody folds a pillow in half because they like folding. These are the habits people develop around a pillow that does not fit — each one is a workaround for a specific mismatch, and each one names the mismatch precisely if you read it the right way.

I fold my pillow in half every nightFolding a pillow roughly doubles its height and firms it considerably. Doing it automatically, every night, is a preci…I sleep on two pillowsTwo pillows do not make one taller pillow. They make a WEDGE — the top one slides, the pair meets at an angle, and the…I punch and reshape my pillow all nightReshaping is not a comfort ritual, it is maintenance — you are rebuilding height that the pillow keeps losing. A pillo…I sleep with my hand under my cheekA hand under the cheek is roughly an inch and a half of extra height, applied exactly where the gap is largest. It is …I have to hug a second pillow to sleepHugging props the upper arm and stops the top shoulder rolling forward, which takes rotation out of the spine and load…My pillow was fine and now it is flatFill compresses. The loft a pillow ships with is the loft it has when new, and every published height in this index is…My bottom arm goes numb and I wake up shaking it outTwo different setups produce this and they need opposite fixes. If the pillow is too LOW, your head drops toward the m…

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Work out your own loft first → It comes before everything on this page.